


The Goblet of Fire (and numerous other disasters)

by Iceflight398



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: All hail Hufflepuff, Blame England, Cameos from minor characters, Canonical Character Death, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, England messes up his magic, Everything is England's fault, F/M, M/M, Mama China, Slight Canon Divergence, Some family fluff, Sorry England, how do you tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2018-11-30 05:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 10,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11456535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iceflight398/pseuds/Iceflight398
Summary: It's Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts, and the stakes are rising! After receiving a dream from his (dead) mom, England enlists the help of his fellow nations to protect Harry. But the only two available are two old geezers, China and India. Will they succeed in protecting Harry? (Obviously, since there three books and four movies left).





	1. Ask for help (what are friends for?)

《中国》

"I need help," England blurted out randomly at the end of a meeting with the Allies.

He received odd looks, China being among them. It wasn't customary for a proud personification such as England to ask for help. The Asian nation sighed, brushing stray strands of silky black hair out of his tired face. He was in no mood to humor anyone else. The night before, he hadn't slept well, tormented by nightmares of bloodied katanas and dreams of old friends long gone.

"What is wrong, mon petit lapin?" France asked with a condescending smirk on his handsome face.

England scowled angrily at the Frenchman. "I'm only asking you people for help because I see no other option! Okay, so you guys know Hogwarts?"

"Don't you mean Hogwash?" America asked, smirking. "Ilvermorny forever!"

"Shut the bloody hell up!" England yelled, turning bright red. "Don't forget that your school - and country - has its roots in me!"

America bristled for a second, before scoffing. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't be talking if I were you. Even one of the things you're most famous for - tea - comes from Asia!"

"Stop arguing, you stupid Westerners!" China scolded. Honestly, all these Westerners could do was eat and fight. China couldn't resist a good jab at Opium, though.

"However... I must say America was right with that last in that last comment..."

America grinned and England turned red enough to rival Romano.

"Arrgh! Listen!" The eyebrowed nation shrieked, almost like a little child. Of course, compared to China, he was a child.

Russia smiled in an almost childlike manner and hugged his metal pipe. "We are, da?"

"Non," France said flatly, "But do continue on anyways, my dear Angleterre."

England clenched his fists, obviously trying not to start a fight. This piqued China's attention. Opium was usually more than eager to start a fight, so whatever he wanted to say, it must be very important for him to try to keep that controlled.

"Everybody!" China yelled, banging the table with his wok. "Let's stop fighting and actually listen to what Opium here has to say! Then I can go home and you stupid Westerners can keep fighting!"

America looked like he wanted to argue, but seemed to change his mind after taking one look at China's wok.

England breathed a sigh of relief and grunted his thanks to China. "Right... so you know Lord Voldemort? He Who Must Not Be Named? The bald, noseless chap?"

France rolled his eyes. "How could we not?"

"Well, he has his eyes set on Harry. Harry Potter."

China pursed his lips together, feeling ticked off that England would spout such redundant information. "We already know that, Opium. The whole wizarding community knows it. I thought this was going to be important."

"But I had a vision! Or... well, a dream. From my mum. She said that if we didn't help Harry Potter this year - his fourth year - he wouldn't be able to pass."

America burst out laughing, followed by Russia and France. "So what if he doesn't pass his exams? He's the Boy Who Lived. He can repeat a year."

"No!" England yelled, his face starting to go red again. "It's something else! I know it is! With all this junk in the muggle world that's been happening... the last thing we need is for the wizarding war to get worse! Someone has to go undercover in Hogwarts to help the Potter boy, and it can't be me, since I already graduated several years ago according to record!"

France shrugged apologetically, his face turning serious. "Désolé, mon petit lapin. I have already graduated my own school, and, ah... I am very much on record."

America and Russia both nodded, looking apologetic as well. "Us too."

"But I can go," China announced boldly, his amber eyes flashing. "I've been having dreams from Britannia too, though I could never quite remember the details. I'm certain, though, that it was about this. So-"

"Thank you!" England cried, falling to his knees in front of China to the great shock of everyone. "Thank you so much! I swear that-"

With a huff, China hoisted England up and smacked him with the wok. "Stop acting so weird, Opium! Look, I'll call India to help me, we'll get this all sorted out, and we can get everything back to normal."

America tilted his head to one side, his sky blue eyes confused. "Why India?"

"Because," China explained, releasing England, "We are the two that graduated from magical school the earliest, so it will be hardest to trace us. Plus we actually graduated before Hogwarts even existed, so..."

Russia frowned, grabbing China and hugging tightly to his chest. China shrieked in alarm, trying to hit Russia with his wok. Stupid Russia!

"But will my sweet Yao-Yao be in danger?" Russia asked, narrowing his eyes and hugging China tighter, causing China to gag.

France patted Russia's broad shoulder reassuringly. "Do not worry, mon cher. China has the healing powers customary of a nation, after all!"

England nodded. "I have a spell that will change him - and India - into seemingly ordinary fourteen-year-old wizards. They'll still be able to resurrect themselves, though."

"Well, it's all settled then," China announced, putting away his wok. "I'll get India over here, and we'll get going to Hogwarts!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was scared of the dark because I watched a scary movie trailer ad with a creepy villain called Kevin so I stayed up all night so I wrote this.
> 
> The highway to hell is paved with Kevin's.


	2. What do you mean, no?

《中国》

"No."

"What do you mean, 'no?'" China shrieked over the phone at his only friend from the ancient times that was still alive - India.

"I mean I don't want to help that Opium B-"

"Language!"

" _Maaf keejiye_. Look, old friend, why would you want to help him after all he's done to us? Let him fix his own problems. He did not better for us. As a matter of fact, we'd be doing better than he did, since we wouldn't be agitating any problems."

China bit his lip. India had a point. He began to rethink his decision. He did have his own problems to take care of, and all that "You-Know-Who" junk as European junk. But then he remembered the look in the eyes of that boy in the newspapers... the look of someone who is lost and frightened with no place to call home and no one to shelter him...

"Harry Potter was still a child in every right," China said, gently but firmly, "We cannot just leave him, regardless."

China heard India groan over the phone. "Of course you would say that.  _Theek hai_ , I'll go. For old times sake."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ridiculously short chapter to make my progress seem greater by having more chapters™
> 
> After this chapter, you guys should have realized that India doesn't exactly have warm and fuzzy feelings towards England. Unless your reading comprehension sucks. But I won't judge, since my self-esteem sucks.
> 
> So basically back in the day, England was all like, "Imma take over the world!" like the rebellious, emo teen he was. So he got China addicted opium (tralalala, kiss the cash∼), colonized a bunch of countries (tralalala, kiss more cash∼), and when China's government decided enough was enough, beat China in a war and took Hong Kong (I'll make some cash out of youuu). Unsurprisingly, many Brits considered the countries they had colonized to be inferior to then.
> 
> Needless to say, most of the countries weren't delighted by the fact another country took over then. So now let's talk about some things that happened to India specifically (you can look up the rest on your own).
> 
> Lemme introduce you to something called "sepoys." They were Indian soldiers fighting for the Brits. And then in 1857, they revolted.
> 
> There were a bunch of reasons they revolted, but the final spark (or the cherry on the cake of injustices) was the tallow and lard-greased cartridges. Them being soldiers, they had rifles. In order to load their rifle, the sepoys had to bite the cartridges to release the powder. The problem? It was rumored that the grease was derived from beef (eating beef is considered offensive by Hindus) and pork (eating pig is offensive to Muslims).
> 
> Rumors flew like it was high school, the Brits tried to solve it, (the solution obviously didn't work), more rumors flew, and bam.
> 
> So a bunch of civilians, women, and children were killed on both side, by both sides. Some sepoys still fought for the Brits since they considered living under the Brits to be better. British newspaper told stories about how terrible the revolting sepoys were, some might have been true, some might have been over-exaggerations, and some might have been blatant lies.
> 
> (Spoiler alert) the Brits won.
> 
> Then, during World War 2, the Indians were starving.
> 
> Winston Churchill, who is remembered by many as a hero who stood up against the evils of Hitler, was all like, "Whatever, man. Those Indians are like bunnies, popping out way too many babies. Let 'em starve. Their own problem. Let's go fight the angry German guy with the cool mustache and the Americans can make movies about it later!"
> 
> Of course, Winston Churchill stopped Germany from killing Jews, and in Britain, the people weren't exactly having a feast everyday. This was war. Food would have been tight for everyone.
> 
> This goes to show that history is not black and white. See, the Brits were jerks for taking over the Indians, treating them less fairly than they would treat whites, and (maybe) giving them offensive cartridges, but they did try to solve the offensive cartridges problem and before them, India's system was a lot worse. Today, it's a lot better than before the Brits came.
> 
> Actually, many of the countries England colonized, such as my own beautiful USA, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, are super good countries that everyone wants to immigrate to nowadays. Also, Hong Kong's government is more democratic the that of Mainland China (and then Mainland decided to assert more control and stuff, but that's a conversation for another day). Colonization by England had actually improved a lot of the countries.
> 
> Last but not least, English is pretty much the most universal language. Without the Brits trying to take over most of the world, English wouldn't be a universal language, and a lot of things (such as business) would be a lot harder.
> 
> So the question is, did England's colonization do more harm than good? The colonization countries lost a lot of their national identity and were sometimes subjected to unfair treatment, but a lot ended up as better countries after they were freed. Would they have made it their themselves eventually if England hadn't colonized them? Would Gandhi have stood up against the Indian government for democracy instead of standing up against the British for the freedom of India?
> 
> History is 50 shades of gray.


	3. Magic with the Eyebrow Brothers

《इंडिया》

"Are you two ready?" England asked, raising his spell book and wand.

From beside him, the other Kirkland brothers did the same.

From inside the magic circle, India shifted nervously. In no reality did he trust England's magic. Someone could pay him to trust it and he still wouldn't. And those eyebrows… they hurt his eyes.

"Are you sure this is safe, Opium brothers?" China asked, scowling.

"Positive," Wales said confidently.

India rolled his eyes, voicing his thoughts. "You've messed up your magic one too many times for us to trust you."

"It's safe!" England snapped aggressively.

"Calm down, bro," America said from where he was leaning against the wall of Scotland's house. "They have a right to be nervous."

"You do have a penchant for messing up your spells, mon petit lapin," France agreed.

Russia clenched his pipe and smiled darkly. "If something bad happens to my Yao-Yao, I will rip you all into confetti and use it as sprinkles on ice cream, da?"

"Heck, nyet," Northern Ireland muttered, brushing his ginger bangs out of his emerald green eyes.

"Well," Scotland announced loudly, ignoring Russia's threat. "Let's get going. On three!"

"One!" Wales cheered.

"Two!" Northern Ireland grinned.

England scowled angrily. "Bloody get on with it!"

As the chant began, a blue light filled India's vision. Around him, the magical circle began to glow brightly, golden force fields emanating from each of the lines. India felt a cold wind above his head, and upon looking up, he saw a vortex above China and him, a whirlpool of darkness. Darkness streamed up from around him, in the shape of screaming souls. As the darkness left, he began to feel lighter, as if he were shedding layers of heavy clothing. Many of the familiar aches that he had grown accustomed to seemed to disappear. The ceiling grew further away.

And then golden light began to get sucked from him too. Dimly, he thought he heard England give a cry of alarm. As the light went towards the vortex, it took on the shapes of elephants and magnificent palaces, of spices and his beloved Taj Mahal. As the last bursts of gold left him, the world seemed to blur. Had the vortex sucked away his strength too? Or was this one of the fine print side effects? As his the ground began to swing up to him, India silently cursed England for this terrible situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (SPOILER ALERT) They messed up.
> 
> But that's kind of a given.


	4. Chapter 4

《इंडिया》

India woke up with a pounding headache, bringing back nasty memories of all of his hangovers. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, not wanting to face any light. Had he been drunk? Was England's obviously failed spell a drunken dream/nightmare?

Sadly, all of his hopes were dashed by Norway's angry voice telling the Eyebrow brothers off.

"I can't believe how badly you dårer messed up! This... don't you idioter know… And the worst thing..."

The Norwegian man's usually stoic now seemed to be shaking with an effort to remain calm. India furrowed his brows. To make Norway that angry... What the heck had the Eyebrow brothers done?

Opening his eyes blearily and wincing at the light, he was greeted by America's concerned blue eyes.

"Yo, are you okay?" America asked worriedly in Hindi.

India nodded, the movement causing his neck muscles to howl in protest. He groaned, the noise sounding like a dehydrated mountain goat on its death bed.

"What... happened...?" India managed to choke out, his throat so parched it felt like the time he and Rome had accidentally gotten gotten lost in the Middle East.

"Iggy screwed up on his spell," America informed India in a whisper, casting a nervous glance at the side. "Do you want some water?"

Maybe he was worried that talking too loudly would bring Norway's wrath down on him too. India didn't care.

"China," He croaked.

"China's already awake," America whispered. "Thank every deity ever for that, too, because Russia was on a rampage before China calmed him down. You want water?"

"Please…"

"'Kay." America got up for a second, and there was the sloshing sound of water being poured into a glass. Then America reappeared. "Here, bro."

India reached out to grab the water, but the instant it was passed into his hands, he nearly dropped it.

"Woah!" America whispered, grabbing the water before it could spill. He held out the clear water for India to drink.

India grimaced. He was being babied by a nation thousands of years younger than him. England (and his stupid brothers) were all dead.

"India's awake!" A voice that India recognized as Romania's suddenly shouted.

"Thank God!" Scotland yelled.

There was a rushed patter of feet, before America and the water was shoved aside and four faces, each bearing ridiculously thick eyebrows, appeared before him.

"It's hideous," India muttered deliriously.

"Bloody wanker," England grumbled, with a hint of relief in his voice. "But at least he's still normal."

"And not dead," Norway added icily, shoving the hideous people aside to examine India.

"Dhanyavaad," India mumbled. "You are much prettier than they are."

The Eyebrow brothers shouted some rather unflattering comments from out of India's vision, and he thought he heard China's familiar chuckle.

Norway ignored it all. "The failed spell has turned you and China into 14-year-old wizards. Most of your scars have disappeared, except for the major ones." His voice was seemingly as icy and stoic as normal, but India thought he could detect a slight waver in the Nordic nation's voice.

Processing the information Norway had given him, India blinked. Maybe his mind was still a little fuzzy from the bad spell, but didn't that mean the (bad) spell had worked? He was about to voice this before Norway continued.

"However, if you two are truly human in every right."

In his weak state of mind, India couldn't process this. Human...?

"If you die... it will be permanent."

Die? Permanent? But they were nations! They couldn't die! What would happen to their people?

"We don't have a cure yet-"

"No," India choked out feebly, his mind whirling with all the new information.

"I don't like it either," Romania said, his face appearing in India's field of vision, fangs and everything. "But that's just how things are."

"Do you still want to go on the mission?" Wales asked.

Though India couldn't see the European nation, his voice sounded nervous.

"Nahin!" India snapped in the loudest voice he could manage, though it made him sound like an angry, dying great grandfather (which in all honesty, wasn't far from the truth).

"Please," Northern Ireland begged. "Look, I know you're mad at us for multiple reasons, and that's totally fair. But this isn't about us. It's about the safety of the world - and of a 14 year old boy that doesn't deserve to suffer."

"India," China's voice said, firm as ever. "We can't abandon a child."

India let out a weak, crazed laugh. "Seriously? You want to help Opium after everything he's done?"

"I already told you. For the child, not for him."

"But if we die-"

"We were great nations when Rome was still in diapers." China sounded amused. "Going to school won't kill us.

"Please, India," America's youthful voice cut in. "You know that if that jerkface Voldemort wins, it won't be good for anyone anywhere in the world."

India exhaled, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. Maybe China was right. Even if China was wrong, India wasn't going to abandon one of his oldest friends. India wouldn't be able to deal with himself if China died alone on this mission. To be honest, he wouldn't be able to deal with himself if the child died either.

"Fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is England's fault.
> 
> Also, this might be a good time to explain the languages in this story. You can just assume that they're talking in English unless explicitly stated. Entire sentence of italicized English dialogue is in a foreign language, but if the foreign language is a single word or phrase, then I'll just Google Translate it and put it in here in the romanized form of the actual language. The reason for this being that if you Google Translate an entire sentence… yeah…
> 
> Mandarin, however, will be in written in Chinese characters because a) I'm Chinese American and I can type in Chinese and b) it looks weird to me when it's in Pinyin.
> 
> Last but not least…
> 
> #blameiggy


	5. The Portkey (and China's latest sibling)

《中国》

"Arthur, old chap!"

Both the Wesley and the nation said this at the same time as the two (along with their charges) met up at the portkey, causing Amos Diggory and Raj to burst out into laughter.

England chuckled. "It never gets old, eh?"

Yao rolled his eyes at their antics. However, he had to admit that it was a little amusing. He turned his gaze to the Potter boy and his two friends. Yao had heard that his female friend, the Granger girl, was an excellent student. Good. She had messy brown hair, serious brown eyes, and her arms were crossed over her blue cardigan. Harry's male friend, Ronald, was a redhead, just like the rest of his family. Unsurprising. He was tall and lanky, with blue eyes and a patched coat on. As his eyes landed on Harry Potter, one thing immediately came to Yao's attention.

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, was noticeably thin.

Yao pursed his lips and furrowed his elegant black brows.

"Have you been eating?" Yao worriedly asked Harry.

Harry looked bewildered, blinking and looking around as if he was worried Yao wasn't talking to you. "Huh...?"

Yao sighed in exasperation. "Aiya, you really are far too thin. I'll need to feed you a lot!"

Raj snicked. "Some people never change, eh?"

England rolled his emerald eyes. "Allow me to introduce my two charges, Yao Wang and Raj Ahmadi. They are transfer students from China and India, respectively. I'm taking care of them this year in place of their parents."

Yao huffed. "We do not need to be taken care of you by you!"

"Yeah!" Raj agreed heatedly.

"Yao certainly seems more nagging and motherly than Arthur," Yao heard Ron mutter to the Harry.

Amos Diggory chuckled proudly. "Don't forget my boy Cedric! He won the Hogwarts quidditch cup last year as the captain of his team, you know."

Fred and George Weasley scowled in displeasure at this.

Cedric waved, a friendly but embarrassed smile on his face. He had light brown hair and a Hufflepuff scarf was tied around his neck. "Don't make a big deal out of it, dad. It was just a fluke."

"Say," Raj whispered to Yao, "Doesn't he look like that sparkly vampire from one of America's movies?"

Yao felt his eye twitch. His knee twitched as well, hitting Raj where it really hurt.

"Ow!" Raj yelped.

"Why did you say your victory was a fluke?" Yao curiously asked Cedric, ignoring Raj's wails of pain.

Cedric shrugged. "Oh, when Hufflepuff was playing Gryffindor, some dementors attacked Harry, the Gryffindor seeker, and caused him to fall of his broom, so we won."

Yao felt his heart freeze and the blood drain from his face. "Aiya! Dementors? At a school? What kind of terrible school is this? Who runs that place?"

"Only the greatest wizard ever, Dumbledore," Ron muttered.

"This is terrible! What else has happened there, hmm?"

Cedric shifted uncomfortably. "Well, in Harry's first year…"

"...there was a three-headed dog and a professor was hiding You-Know-Who in the back of his head. Harry, Ron, and I dealt with it." Hermione finished.

Ron nodded. "And in our second year, my little sister got kidnapped and a basilisk petrified a lot of people. Harry ended up fighting it while I babysat a professor that accidently gave himself amnesia."

"What?" Yao shrieked, feeling horrified at the utter incompetence of this school. "I need to go complain to the headmaster once I get there! This is not a good learning environment for children! Why can't professors or maybe even Dumbledore deal with these dangerous types of things? This is ludicrous!" He patted Harry's messy black hair, though he had to stand on his tiptoes. "Don't worry, Harry, I'll take care of you this year. The instant there's a problem, I'll kick my way up to Dumbledore's office and make him deal with it himself!"

"Thank you…?" Harry stammered, looking as if he wasn't sure how to react.

Everyone except for Hermione (who looked incredibly delighted) and Harry simply looked amused and continued on with their own conversations, irritating Yao. He was 4,000 years old, though he had never looked the part, even when he was still a nation. He was going to march up to Dumbledore's office and demand a good learning environment for students!

"As a matter of fact," Yao continued, "You can consider me your older brother!"

"Wait… brother? As in you're a guy-"

"Look at the time!" One of the Weasley twins suddenly shouted, effectively cutting off Harry's question.

"We'd better get going!' The other one added.

Yao was only able to tell the difference between them thanks to practice from the Korea twins. Back in the day, they both had long, braided hair, so they were literally identical (except Hyung Soo was scowling all the time and Yong Soo never seemed to stop smiling).

"Righty-O!" Amos Diggory smiled. "Grab onto the boot!"

Harry looked confused. "Why?"

"Because it's a portkey," Yao said. "Now grab on!"

As the world begin to spin, Harry finally grabbed on at what must have been the last second, much to Yao's relief. After all, it would have been the ultimate fluke if they had lost the Chosen Boy (and Yao's latest little sibling) via portkey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what to say so imma just be weird™
> 
> I HATE PINEAPPLES
> 
> I wanna kill eine ananas
> 
> DESTROY ALL PINEAPPLES
> 
> Also, seriously, Hogwarts? At least huge, near-death disaster per year, and not even a single school counselor or some qualified security guards.


	6. Chinese food at camp

《中国》

"Woah," Yao heard Harry Potter say in awe as they entered the magical tent.

When Yao was younger, he would have been the same way. On the outside, the tent must have been the plainest, smallest thing ever, merely a moldy brown tarp held up by sticks. On the inside, though, it was large and luxurious, covered in drapings of red and gold. However, after seeing so much, many things had lost their wonder to Yao.

How he envied children.

Sighing, the ancient Chinese man rushed over to the kitchen as the others were setting up their things. He needed to fix a meal for Harry. Poor thing... so thin… Yao had heard that his relatives were jerks to him. If that were so, why didn't Dumbledore just keep him at Hogwarts? If the boy needed protecting, Dumbledore was the best person to do it!

"Aiya..." Yao grumbled, feeling annoyed at how stupid other people were.

~~

"Food is ready!" Yao announced proudly, bringing over a plate of warm Chinese food that held a delicious aroma to the carved wooden table. "Raj, get your lazy 屁股 up and help me!"

"Coming, mum," Raj grumbled sarcastically.

"Your food smells really good, Yao," Hermione complimented.

"谢谢," Yao said smugly.

Harry and Ron were already helping themselves to excessive portions of the food. Nothing this, Hermione immediately kicked the two of them.

"Don't be rude!" She scolded.

Harry look apologetic and guilty while Ron flat out ignored her. Yao, however, was content to shrug it off.

"Aiya, don't worry about it. Food is for eating, after all! Especially good food. Now Opium -eh, Professor Kirkland- his food is disgusting!"

"Terrible," Raj agreed. "One bite could fell a giant."

England turned bright red. "Don't insult my food, you disrespectful wankers!"

Raj stuck his tongue out at England. "Nah, nah."

Arthur Weasley chuckled. "Seems like you have your hands full, Arthur. But they can't be worse than Fred and George."

"Speaking of Fred and George," Ginny said curiously, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "Where are they?"

"Betting with the guy that got us tickets, Bagman Crouch," Raj replied. "I would have gone with them, but..." He glanced at Yao and England. "That would upset two certain naggers."

Yao scowled, grabbing Raj by the ear. "You're right, it would! Don't you dare go getting yourself into trouble, got it? Not here or at Hogwarts!"

"Fine, Mum."

The motherly Chinese man sighed in exasperation. Some people would never change. He could still remember the time Raj and Rome had gotten lost in the Middle East while playing tag with some children. By the time Yao and Parthia had found them, the two had looked like baked corpses.

Arthur Weasley chuckled drily. "Maybe we should get Yao to live at our house. Then he could rein in Fred and George."

Cedric Diggory shook his head solemnly. "I'm afraid that that would be trying to accomplish the impossible, Mr. Weasley."

Everyone laughed. Fred and George, after all, were infamous for their pranks.

"Well," Amos Diggory said merrily, "Don't want those two to be having all the fun. Let's get going after we finish this delicious meal Yao cooked for us, shall we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know this isn't what happened in the book. It isn't going to be the same as what happened in the book.
> 
> Seriously, if I could write like JK Rowling could, I wouldn't be hunched miserably in my dad's office trying to finish nine chapters of a math book in 12 days while trying to find more time to write while worrying about whether or not I'm going to be able to get into a good enough college to meet my parents' standards.
> 
> So don't complain.


	7. The Mistake

《इंडिय》

The bleachers of the quidditch stadium was bursting with vibrant noise, not unlike the sports stadiums of the muggle world. Vendors were everywhere, trying to get people to buy authentic mini broomsticks signed by Viktor Krum and moving sugar mummy fingers. Raj was tempted to go and buy some mummy fingers to pull a prank on England, but after noticing that Yao was giving him cold glare that could put a man six feet under, he decided against it.

"This year's going to be boring with Yao mothering me all the time," Raj thought bitterly, slowing down his pace has he brooded over how he could bypass Yao- no easy feat, since the Chinese man had raised over seven children.

"Come along now," England shouted over the crowd at Raj, "Don't fall behind!"

"You're not my mum!" Raj snapped ferociously at England, but he noted with a shock that he had indeed fallen quite behind. He could only still see England because a) the Brit had (surprisingly) waited for him and b) those eyebrows were like homing beacons.

Picking up his pace, Raj hurried after the main group through the seemingly endless sea of witches and wizards who were buying cheap ripoff souvenirs and placing bets. An old memory flooded back to him, one that he hadn't thought of in a long time, of getting lost in the market as a child. Surrounded by a forest of tall legs and booming voices, he had seen another child, as tiny and terrified as he had been. Then two strong arms had picked up the child and held the child close- a parent or an older sibling.

At that moment, Raj's fear had been displaced by a burning envy. He had grown up by himself, without a warm hand to guide him along the way. Sure, it had won him "grandpa" rights and bragging rights, but he couldn't help but feel bitter towards the younger nations that had had grandparents and older siblings to help them through the hardships of being a nation. Yao had grown up the same way Raj had, which was probably why the Chinese nation was so nurturing. He didn't want anyone to be as lonely as he was.

As he caught sight of the main group once more, he felt a warm feeling in his chest. Now, Raj wasn't. He saw the Weasley boys (minus Percy) and Harry joking together, while Percy and Ginny were talking about some book. Hermione and Yao talking to a tiny house elf who looked extremely bashful.

Raj smiled. And then Yao caught sight of him.

"Aiya! Where have you been? Do you have any idea how worried I was? What if you had gotten hurt? Imagine the headlines: Idiot Teen Trampled by Crowds at Quidditch Game. Honestly! What if we hadn't been able to find each other again? What then?"

"Opium would have cast one of his bad spells in an attempt to find me and blown up the entire stadium," Raj answered, trying not to laugh (that would just make everything worse).

Yao's face was as red as a tomato and his arms were crossed over his chest. His bright amber eyes were burning ferociously, like a mama bear or something. Due to being shorter than everyone present except for Ginny, Yao was tilting his head upwards in an almost angry way, as if that could somehow make him grow taller.

Raj snickered.

Yao to begin to scream at him again, this time in rapidfire Mandarin. Ron and the twins gave Raj looks of sympathy.

"Life sucks, doesn't it?" Ron said, giving Raj a comforting pat on the shoulder.

Fred (or was it George?) grinned. "She's just like our beautiful Mum."

George/Fred snickered. "Or good ol' 'Mione."

Hearing the pronoun Fred/George used, Raj gulped and shifted uncomfortably in place. Yao immediately stopped his rant to give the offending the ultimate evil eye that signaled Doomsday.

George/Fred frowned. "Wait... what's going on? What's got her knickers in a twist?"

Yao didn't give him the benefit of an answer, immediately pulling a wok on the twins. They looked tempted to laugh at first, but after one smack, they were screaming in terror. As Yao continued extracting his vengeance, Hermione and Ginny looked amused while Ron, and the other males looked bewildered.

"What's going on?" Ron asked, looking hopelessly confused.

England sighed, rubbing his eyebrows and by default, his forehead. "The twins... they made the Mistake, didn't they?"

Raj nodded solemnly, pretending to wipe a tear from his golden brown eyes. "Rest in peace, Weasley twins. You will forever be remembered as idiots."

Ron looked even more lost. "The Mistake?"

England nodded uncomfortably. "Yes. Everyone makes it."

"I didn't!" Raj boasted.

Ginny giggled. "I'm sure you didn't."

Hermione began to laugh as well.

Harry shifted from side to side and looked at the ground. "Umm… I think Yao is actually… umm… a guy?"

Amos Diggory spit out his butterbeer. "Impossible! This must be some sort of joke!"

"Nope." Raj grinned. "I've seen it myself. Definitely not a girl."

England smacked Raj on the side of his head. "Stupid wanker!"

Raj stuck out his tongue at England. "Bhaad mein jao."

"Your tongue will freeze if you keep sticking it out."

"Don't treat me like a child!" Raj bristled angrily.

Before England could retaliate, Raj heard cold laughter from above them that brought back memories of Imperial England, except on puberty.

"Well, well," A blond boy drawled as he, two other blondes that were clearly his parents, and Cornelius Fudge (Minister of Magic) made their way over to them. "Look like Potter's made some new friends."

"Malfoy," Ron snarled.

"Weasley."

"And Raj!" Raj chirped cheerily.

Fudge chuckled. "Well, looks like everyone's friends! How nice!" He glanced over at the house elf that Hermione and Yao had been talking to. "Did you get a new house elf, Lucius?"

Lucius Malfoy sneered at the house elf, who covered behind Hermione. "No. What a pathetic thing. Just like..." He cast a scornful look at Arthur Weasley, as if he wanted to insult the Weasleys. Then he seemed to decide against it, maybe trying to keep at least a superficial peace for Fudge's benefit.

"This is Winky," Yao introduced, finally laying off on Fred and George and calming down (though his cheeks were still dusted with red). "She's Barty Crouch's house elf. Winky's saving a seat for him."

Fudge nodded, looking entirely uncaring. "Yes, yes. Lovely. Shall we sit? The match is about to start."

"Go Ireland!" Fred/George cheered.

"But Bulgaria has Viktor Krum!" Cedric protested.

George/Fred winked. "Yeah... but we may or may not have made a bet with Ludo Bagman that Ireland would emerge victorious, but Krum would catch the golden snitch."

Raj chuckled. "In that case, may the odds ever be on the favor of Ireland- and Viktor Krum!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> China is the manlier than any of the Hetalia characters. Except for Hungary.
> 
> Do not question it.
> 
> Be a man
> 
> We must be swift as the coursing river
> 
> With all the force of a great typhoon
> 
> With all the strength of a raging fire
> 
> Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!


	8. The stars are hidden

《इंडिय》

Raj let out a peal of laughter as he walked out of the stadium with Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Yao.

"I had forgotten how much fun quidditch matches were! I can't believe Crouch didn't show, though. It was so awesome! But at least Winky got to see it." He declared as he beamed up at the indigo night sky that held thousands of beautiful stars in its embrace.

The stars entranced him. Though they seemed close together, many were actually alone, separated from its neighbours by thousands of light years. They were like nations that way, separated from humans by mortality and separated from other nations by politics and past grievances.

"The stars look lonely tonight," Yao said softly, as if reading Raj's mind. "But they are lovely. Let's hope the sky remains clear."

Hermione nodded. "It would be a pity of these stars were to be covered up."

Ron laughed wildly. "We can look at stars later! First, let's check this place out!"

Harry grinned as well. "With all this money Mr. Kirkland gave us, we should be able to buy a bunch of stuff. It was really kind of him to give us this."

Raj shrugged dismissively. "Oh, he has tons of money. But you should have seen him when he was in his imper- er, when he was in his prime. He was so much more annoying then. I mean, all he did was show off his money then show off his power then kil- er, kiss some people! Yeah, people who only liked him for his power. Totally."

The Indian man swallowed nervously when he noticed that Hermione had developed a suspicious look in her brown eyes as Raj was rambling. Noticing the death glare in Yao's fierce amber eyes at his slip-up, his ear ached in early anticipation of the scolding and ear-grabbing he was going to get.

Just as Hermione was opening her mouth to question Raj's odd statement, Yao let out of cry of alarm. After so many years on the battlefield, Raj recognized it as a genuine warning of danger, not as a distraction.

And indeed there was danger, because Raj managed to pick up the scent of smoke in the air.

Then the screaming began.

"Help!"

"救命!"

"Tasukeru!"

"Spaseniye!"

"Rette mich!"

Wails of terrors rang out across the field in a multitude of languages as dark shadows streaked across the sky, blocking out the once-bright stars. The choking smell of smoke became stronger and burning flames began to race through the camp. Adrenaline surged through Raj's body as his mind automatically analyzed the situation, eyes darting around, this sort of event all too familiar to him.

This was war, borne from hatred and misunderstanding, greed and desperation.

"Run!" He heard Yao order Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Turning his tense eyes to the trio, Raj thought that they looked like panicked little squirrels, their eyes wide and their wands out in their trembling hands.

Raising his voice so he could be heard over the din, he shook each of them by their shoulders. "Follow either Yao or me! Keep up with at least one of us! Got it?"

"Y-yessir!" Ron squeaked, obviously trying to keep up a brave front.

If nothing else, Raj had to applaud him for the effort. Even some grown soldiers would panic in a situation like this, with smoke clogging up their airways and people scrambling around everywhere like terrified rodents hiding from a hawk, an endless crowd that trampled over anything in its rush for safety.

"Look!" Hermione shrieked suddenly, pointing up at the sky, her eyes wide with horror.

Looking up at the shadow-streaked night sky, Raj felt his heart freeze and his blood run cold.

Glowing menacingly above them was a skull, hollow and dark. A snake slithered out from its mouth opening, its eyes narrow slits and its venomous fangs bared.

"No..." Raj whispered, allowing himself one heartbeat for the horror to sink in.

Then he grabbed onto two of the trio and sprinted away from the fire and screams, leaping over fallen bodies and tents, pulling them away even as they screamed to go back for the third. After all, saving two was better than saving zero. Simple math of war, really. Survival of the fittest. And Yao could save the third one.

And yet somehow, despite the clear, simple logic, a shred of doubt wormed his way into Raj's mind. Yao was human now. He could die. And so could the third.

Had Raj just left one of his oldest friends and a child behind to die?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This other day I read this cool thing that was talking about how one of the main themes of HP was bigotry, and how even though the wizards were being persecuted and should have stuck together, they squabbled among themselves. Using our knowledge of our world, the muggles were the same way while they were being persecuted by the Dark Noseless Lord.
> 
> So after I read that I was like, hey! The real world is the exact same way! Non-whites are being persecuted, but even then, we squabble amongst ourselves. Countries are being invaded by other countries, but they still find a little time for in-fighting!
> 
> And of course, with all that hatred, some people need to let it out instead of going to the therapist or getting educated like a normal person. So voilà, we have riots, terrorists, and hate crimes.
> 
> What a nice world we live in.


	9. Fear and grief

《Harry Potter》

Harry's mind was still whirling, struggling to process all this new information. Just a few moments ago, he had been joking around with his two best friends and two great new friends. Now flames were everywhere and Harry could barely breathe through the smoke. His glasses were fogging up, clouding his vision.

"Hermione! Ron!" He yelled, looking and reaching around desperately for his friends.

A strong hand grabbed his arm, making him scream and try to jerk his arm away until he heard Yao's reassuring voice.

"Raj already escape with Hermione and Ron. Stay calm, Harry. 不要怕. Can you come with me?"

Harry nodded, trembling. He had been in bad situations before, but nothing like this. It was like those riots he had heard about in the news, except with magic. They were the same thing. People were angry with each other. Chaos. Crying children and yelling fathers. Flames. Smoke. Crashes.

He felt a sting at his face. Stumbling back, he half-raised his arms for protection before he realized Yao had slapped him lightly to get his attention.

"Harry! 快点儿! It's dangerous to stay here." Yao's tone became softer. "I understand that you're scared. Riots and violence can be really terrifying. Right now, we need to get away from the campsite. Can you run with me?"

"Run?" Harry mumbled, feeling confused. Where was there to run to? There was nothing but violence all around them. There was nowhere safe.

"Yes. We need to run towards the forest, where the Death Eaters aren't."

Harry nodded hesitantly. As he started to run, pulled along by Yao, he felt as if the world was slowing down for some reason. Feet hitting the ground. Breath in. Breath out. Yao's black ponytail whipping about in the air in front of Harry, the silky hair covered in soot. Parents screaming for their child, and embracing the frightened little boy with joy as they finally found him. A crying house elf. Was it Winky? Was it Harry's imagination?

And, a thousand breaths later or one, the next breath of air Harry took somehow felt clearer. Were they there? Had they gotten away? Was it a cruel trick of Harry's mind?

And then there were trees, tall and beckoning, like parents welcoming their children home after a long day. Harry's legs felt weak, as if they could not go another step without buckling.

"Farther!" Yao was screaming. "We need to get farther away! 加油，Harry!"

He didn't want to. He was tired. But Yao's grip was strong, pulling him through a little (or was it a lot?) farther before both men collapsed onto the foliage.

A tear trickled down Harry's cheek as he curled up on the ground. He wanted his parents. He wanted them to embrace him, to smile at him, to protect him from all the dangers of the world...

The foliage rustled, and then Harry felt a warm hand stroking his sooty black hair. Looking up through the tears, he saw Yao with a gentle expression on his ash-covered face. The Chinese man began to sing a soothing Chinese song as he continued on stroking Harry's hair, giving Harry a sense of warmth and protection he had never felt before.

睡吧，睡吧，我亲爱的宝贝...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so after all is said and done, Yao adopts Harry from the abusive Dursleys and is totally enough protection from Voldemort, because he knows kung fu and can train an entire army in one song and can draw on a single grain of rice and other cool stuff like that.
> 
> (At least, that's what I wish would happen to Harry. I mean, I know there's that whole mommy-protection-magic_thing™ explained the last book, but seriously? You leave a kid with abusive relatives? Super-duper-califragilisticexpialidocious bad idea).
> 
> The song at the end is actually a song my mother sings to me and my little sister when she puts us to bed. Yes, I used the present noun, my mom still tucks me in and sings me a lullaby sometimes. You are NEVER too old to want your mother.
> 
> I really wanna hug her right now, but I'm in Michigan with my dad and she's all the way over in California.
> 
> Imma go text her right now.


	10. Things can get better

《Harry Potter》

Blinking into consciousness, Harry stared up at crumbling wooden ceiling. It had a spot on it. And a cobweb. Sitting up and reaching for his glasses, Harry looked around and saw that he was in his shared room with Ron at the Burrow. He could hear the buzz of voices downstairs, maybe in the kitchen. They sounded a mixture of distressed and angry.

What had happened?

The last thing he remembered was Yao and the forest. Then... nothing. Groaning as he rolled out of bed, he looked down and found himself in wizard Mickey Mouse pajamas.

"I'm going to kill Fred and George," Harry grumbled, his voice hoarse.

He ran down the rickety staircase, skipping steps. As he got closer further down, he began to hear snippets of the conversation. They were definitely arguing. Not wanting to walk in and have things get awkward, Harry leaned against the kitchen door with his ear pressed to it.

"We have to save poor Winky! There's no way the Ministry will give her a fair trial." Hermione sounded terribly distressed.

What had happened to Winky? Had she gotten arrested for something?

"Hermione, that is the least of our worries right now." Percy's voice was cold. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go to work."

There was the sound of a chair scraping against the floor and the door opening and getting slammed shut.

"Lighten up," Harry heard Raj say, clearly desperate to change the subject. "Something cool's going to happen at school!"

Hermione began to scream at him about the importance of equal rights. Harry heard Yao sigh loudly at Raj's statement.

"A potentially fatal 'cool thing.' Honestly, I don't understand why they would even if this. It is so incredibly dangerous. You know, the wizarding school in China would never do that." Yao raised his volume, his voice shaking a little. "Children could die from this... this... this thing that you do for entertainment! This 'cool thing.'"

"I have to agree with Yao on this one." Mrs. Weasley said, her voice clipped. "It is ridiculously dangerous."

"Children learn best by doing!" Mr. Kirkland's voice was loud and outraged now.

"And dying." Yao's tone was flat now. "Just you wait. By the end of this 'cool thing,' I'll bet you my entire savings that one kid will have died."

Harry frowned. It had been awhile since a kid had died. Surely Yao would be wrong? Hogwarts had Dumbledore. It was safe. The "cool thing" couldn't be that deadly, or they wouldn't do it. Harry had to appreciate Yao looking out for the students, though. He was like Mrs. Weasley in that way. But what was the (potentially deadly) "cool thing" they were talking about?

"What 'cool thing?'" Ron asked after an awkward silence following Yao's pessimistic statement, voicing Harry's question.

Harry heard a voice that he was pretty sure was Bill's chuckling. "It's a surprise."

"Yes," Yao said drily, "A surprise. And you can come in now, Harry."

Harry jumped, stunned. Then he nervously pushed open the kitchen door to reveal everyone except for Yao, Raj, and Mr. Kirkland looking shocked. The aforementioned three simply looked amused. Guiltily, Harry walked in this his head down.

"You didn't have to stand out there all that time, Harry," Raj said casually, leaning back against his chair. "You could have grabbed a front seat to today's show- Monty Python the Holy Nagger Trinity."

Harry shuffled in place uncomfortably, not sure what to do after being discovered.

"Well?" Mr. Kirkland said in a cool, professional manner, taking a sip of his tea. "Don't just stand there. Grab a seat."

Grabbing a seat next to Ron, Harry noticed that the shock over his arrival had mostly worn down and everyone was quietly eating their breakfast now. He also noticed the absences of Percy (who had gone to work) and Mr. Weasley.

"What happened?" Harry asked, sipping on his milk.

"Well," Raj said, "Monty Python went searching for the Holy Grail, but he accidentally found the Holy Nagger Trinity- by order of appearance, Mrs. Weasley, Yao, and Hermione. Then-"

"I meant after the riot at the World Cup."

"Oh. You passed out, Yao carried you in his big burly arms back here-"

Harry choked on his milk. "Yao carried me?"

"Yes," Yao snapped, looking as irritated as he had sounded during the earlier argument. "Don't sound so surprised!"

"Sorry," Harry mumbled through his coughs as Ron clapped him on the back.

"Then the Ministry arrested Winky because she was found holding your wand, and it was your wand that cast the Dark Mark," Mr. Kirkland continued in place of Raj, who looked annoyed his spot had been taken.

"Which was unfair!" Hermione added, looking and sounding incredibly upset. "They were just looking for a scapegoat!"

Yao sighed wearily. "All governments do that, Hermione."

"That doesn't make it right! Anyways, when we got back to the Burrow the next morning, we found out that Rita Skeeter- a nasty journalist- had written an article in the Daily Prophet with something about Mr. Weasley. He's gone to go sort it out. Tomorrow we're heading off to Hogwarts! I'm going to form a an organization that promotes the rights of house elves there."

Raj scoffed. "Good luck with the system. There's no getting past the system."

"People in the muggle world have improved the rights of minorities! Gay marriage is legal now-"

"In some countries."

"It's still progress! And there are no more slaves anymore and segregation is illegal. Schools are equal, people are becoming better-"

"And then Trump came along."

"Don't you see?" Hermione sounded frustrated. "It's still progress! Things will get better!"

Raj leaned over to Yao. "She sounds like a nerdy cross between Mei and Alfred."

"Don't ignore me!" Hermione sounded furious now. "This is really important! You should care about this since it happened to your own people! But you guys are independent now, aren't you? You stood up for ourselves and demanded change. You weren't afraid to challenge the system set in place. It was the same for my people. We were enslaved and then segregated, but things are much more equal for us now! See? Things can get better!"

Raj was silent for a moment, his eyes distant as if he was lost in the sea of the past. Then he nodded.

"True... you're a brave girl, Hermione. You remind me of someone else..." Raj's eyes got misty. Then he sighed. "Please, allow me the honor of becoming the second member of your organization to help house elfs."

"I'll join too," Ron offered. "Sounds like... umm... a good cause."

"Count me in," Mr. Kirkland said, smiling.

Yao smiled too. "You're the fourth to join, Opium. That's unlucky. And I'm joining as well."

"Me too," Harry added.

Ginny agreed as well.

Hermione looked absolutely delighted. Her brown eyes were sparkling with tears. "T-thank you guys so much! I just know that we'll be able to change things for the better!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "But that isn't what happened in the book, " said everyone watching the movies and reading this.
> 
> Look, if you want to read what happened in the books, then go read the books. But you clearly wanted something different, which is why you're reading this.
> 
> I think that it's really nice that they made Hermione black in The Cursed Child. (Pretty much the only redeeming part of that thing). It was never actually specified whether Hermione was black or white. However, Emma Watson was a really good actor and is a good person overall. I recommend listening to her speech to the UN about feminism, it's really inspiring.
> 
> Back to Hermione being black, I feel like that adds a whole new level of meaning to her character. Black people are usually stereotyped to be dumb, but Hermione's pretty much the best student in the whole school. Also, her stand for the right of house elves relates to black people standing up for their rights. All in all, Hermione is an awesome character, and she (as of right now) is definitely the book character that has influenced me the most.


	11. Fun on the Hogwarts Express

《Hermione Granger》

Settling together in their compartment after they had changed into school robes with armfuls of candy, Hermione began to quiz the Raj and Yao, whose robes lacked color.

"What's the surprise?" She demanded, glaring at them from one side of the compartment.

Raj winked at her. "We can't tell you or it wouldn't be a sur-"

"It's like the Hunger Games except death isn't required," Yao said flatly.

"Yao!" Raj whined. "Why are you always so cynical? It'll be fun!"

"C'mon, mate," Ron begged, "Tell us!"

"Tell you what?" A cold voice sneered.

Hermione grimaced. Malfoy.

"Tell you about what's going to be happening at Hogwarts?" Malfoy sighed mockingly. "I suppose your father isn't high enough in the Ministry to know about stuff like this- my father and Fudge probably wouldn't talk about anything important in front of him."

"You bloody-" Ron began furiously.

Hermione hurriedly dragged him back with Harry, though she was tempted to punch Malfoy again like she did last year.

Raj said some stuff in Hindi while glaring at Malfoy, none of which Hermione felt was pleasant.

"Goodbye," Malfoy said, smirking and walking off.

Yao sighed. "Ignore him. People like him aren't worth it. Spend your time on those that can give you something beautiful in return."

When he said that, he sounded as if he had seen everything there was to see. Hermione frowned, remembering how Raj looked after her speech and how Harry had told her about Yao singing him to sleep.

Maybe they were just really mature. Or maybe...

Whatever it was, Hermione was certain that something was going on. When she had shared this with Harry and Ron lasr night, they had dismissed the idea, but Hermione refused to. The instant she was back at Hogwarts, she was going to borrow Harry's cloak of invisibility and do some research in the restricted area of the library.

Whatever it was, she was going to get to the bottom of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ridiculously short chapter to make my progress seem greater by having more chapters™
> 
> I've pretty much got the ingredients for every Pottertalia fic ever now: England asking fellow nations to go to Hogwarts, disaster strikes, everyone becomes friends, and Hermione is the only one out of the Golden Trio that notices that these new people are a bit fishy.
> 
> So this fic isn't that original. But the characters used inside aren't common! I've noticed that the Asians aren't used too often in other fics, so...
> 
> And a big thank you to any followers, favoriters, and positive reviewers now and in the future! To any negative reviewers now and in the future...
> 
> Thank you for taking time out of your day to contribute to mine.


	12. ¡Bienvenido a Hogwarts!

《Hermione Granger》

After the first years were all sorted into their respective houses, Dumbledore clapped his hands for attention.

"Every year," He announced in a loud, merry voice, "Is a cause for excitement! But this year is especially exciting. Professor Moody will be Our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and pur History of Magic teacher, Professor Binns, has finally discovered that he is dead and has retired! Eh, not that that's exciting-" The students all let out a collective cheer nonetheless. Dumbledore chuckled. "Replacing him will be Professor Kirkland!"

"Seriously?" Ron whispered amidst the applause for the two new professors.

"I can't believe I didn't see him sitting at the teacher's table," Hermione muttered.

Harry laughed. "I can't believe it either. Those eyebrows are noticeable from a kilometer away."

Ron snorted. Hermione tried not to laugh, but failed.

"Did you notice that there are also extra tables?" Ron asked.

Before Hermione and Harry could reply, Dumbledore clapped for attention. "But wait! There's more! Hogwarts has the honor of hosting the first Triwizard tournament in many, many years!"

"So this was the surprise," Harry whispered.

"Three of-age students will compete against each other, one student from each of three European wizarding schools. There will be three trials! Please welcome... Beauxbatons!"

The doors to the Great Hall opened with a bang, and students dressed in neat blue uniforms paraded in. Leading them was a woman who looked like she was literally a giant- or maybe a half giant and a man with shoulder-length blonde hair that blew kisses at everyone.

Hermione noticed that the instant Professor Kirkland saw the man, his face turned bright red.

"And the school of the famous quidditch player Viktor Krum... Durmstrangs!"

The students marched in, lead by a wiry, shifty-looking man. Near the front was Viktor Krum. Hermione could have sworn he looked at her. She giggled and felt her heart flutter, before instantly internally smacking herself for acting like this.

Ron scowled.

"As those in Spain and Latin America would say, bienvenido a Hogwarts! And may the best competitor win!" Dumbledore said cheerfully once everyone had settled down. "The competitors will be selected from the Goblet of Fire-" Hagrid carried over a giant goblet with flames inside and placed it on a stand. "Those who wish to enter may put their names inside- but remember, if you wish to enter, you must be of-age. There will be many spells put into place, so it's best not to even think about it." There were groans of disappointment from all around the Great Hall. "And, last but not least, there is a third surprise, since all good things come in threes! We have two new transfer students, one from China and one from India."

Ron grinned. Harry and Hermione grinned too.

"Please welcome... Yao Wang and Raj Ahmadi!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's slightly longer than the other one, right? It's not that bad!


	13. The Sorting Hat

《中国》

Yao tried not to smack Raj as the Indian man marched down the Great Hall waving at everyone as if he were some sort of Bollywood celebrity. Yao told himself violence would not be a good first impression on teachers.

His hand twitched.

Finally, they got to the Sorting Hat without any PG-13 gore occurring. Yao breathed a sigh of relief as Raj was called over to the Sorting Hat. The Indian man ran over to the Sorting Hat and put it on, looking very much like a five-year-old child being given a new toy despite technically being more than 4,000 years old.

There were several moments of silence as Raj's face contorted into weird expressions. Yao winced, wishing he had pretended he didn't know Raj and they weren't friends at all, but it was too late for that.

"Gryffindor!"

Raj and the other Gryffindors (especially Harry, Ron, and Hermione) cheered as Raj made is way over to the Gryffindor table, his robes turning red and gold.

"Come up, Yao Wang," One of the Professors, a strict-looking lady, said.

Walking over and sitting down on the stool, Yao suddenly wondered if the hat had lice. Could magical hats have lice? Before he could ask, McGonagall placed the hat on his head and its voice filled Yao's head.

"Well, well. First India and the China! Looks like it's a party for the old geezers. And was that England I heard over there?"

Yao blinked, trying to keep his expression schooled.

"Yes, I know you're a nation. I can read your mind. Don't worry, I won't tell, though! Now, let's see... wise and intelligent enough to be a Ravenclaw... but you're kind, loyal, dedicated, and hardworking enough to be a Hufflepuff. And look! You value... family."

The Hat and Yao shared a moment of sorrowful silence as memories from the past washed over Yao and the Hat read those memories.

"Hmm... not modest, but...

"Hufflepuff!"

This was announced out loud. The Hufflepuffs cheered, while over at the Gryffindor table, Yao;s friends looked dejected. Sighing, Yao got up and calmly walked over to the Hufflepuff table as his robes turned black and yellow. There, Cedric clapped him on the back.

"Welcome to Hufflepuff, Yao!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think I explained my reasons for sticking Yao in Hufflepuff, and I stuck Raj in Gryffindor because... it... felt right?
> 
> And Hufflepuff is totally the best house (in my opinion. Proud Hufflepuff here!) The other founders were being all picky with who they wanted to accept, but Helga Hufflepuff wanted to accept everyone, regardless of their background!
> 
> To be honest, that would be what an ideal America would look like, but we've already improved so much, there's definitely hope for the future!
> 
> Also, Hufflepuffs are hardworking as well, which is just as good as being smart like Ravenclaws. And the adorable, awkward Newt Scamander is a Hufflepuff too...


	14. Don't bloody well get into any trouble!

《中国》

Just as the lights were about to go out in the Hufflepuff common room, Hannah Abbott ran over and tapped Yao on the arm.

"Professor Kirkland wants to see you," She said, looking a bit nervous.

Ernie Macmillan frowned. He was reclining comfortably on the sofa next to Justin Finch-Fletchley. "But I heard he was in Slytherin! What if-"

"It's fine," Yao assured him. "Profesor Kirkland is the caretaker of Raj and me... for however long we stay in Hogwarts. Our parents are still talking about it."

The truth was, Yao had no idea if a cure to the spell could be found by the end of the year, and he didn't want to go to a world conference the same age as Latvia and Liechtenstein. He could just come to Hogwarts again next year. God knows Harry Potter would need the help.

"Oh," Justin said, still looking nervous. "But if you're not back in an hour... we'll... umm..."

"Get Dumbledore," Ernie said flatly.

Susan Bones pursed her lips. "But Dumbledore was the one that hired Professor Kirkland! We should go look for Yao ourselves!"

"Absolutely not! That is very much against the school rules. Furthermore, I must start reviewing the material in case a pop quiz should come up..."

Sighing in exasperation, Yao left his fellow Hufflepuffs to debate over the best way to "rescue" him should the need arise. As he was about to leave the Hufflepuff common room, Cedric clapped him on the shoulder.

"I know they're kind of... overeager. But we Badgers protect our own, 'kay?"

Yao smiled. "Like a family."

"Like a family," Cedric agreed.

Outside the cozy Hufflepuff common room, Yao shivered. The hallways were freezing. Another complaint for Dumbledore there.

England was pacing around fuming. The instant he noticed Yao, he opened his mouth, presumably to complain about the lateness, but Yao cut him off.

"My housemates got it into their heads you were going to murder me. I'm not sorry I'm late."

The European nation scowled. "Just hurry up! I want to go talk to Raj to make sure he doesn't try to enter, and I thought things would go smoother if you came."

Yao nodded. They made their way through the winding stairways of Hogwarts, having to backtrack several times, before finally making it to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Ma'am," England said politely, "We need to speak with Raj Ahmadi, so-"

"No!" She shrieked, tearing at her hair. "I do not want to run errands for other people!"

"But isn't that basically your job-"

"Then I quit!"

England groaned. "No! Just let us speak to him, and... umm..."

"No! I refuse! And go shave your eyebrows!"

"Why you bloody-"

The portrait slid open, revealing Fred's grinning face.

Yao breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't want to spend all evening arguing with a painting. "Thank goodness. Go get Raj for us."

Fred fake-pouted. "No please?"

Raj poked his face over, winking at Yao and England. "Asian parents don't say please."

Fred snickered, before going back in. Seconds later, loud bangs and raucous laughter were heard. It reminded him of the time Hong Kong and Taiwan thought it would be fun to have a fireworks party on Yao's roof. Several arrests and one pair of broken glasses later, the two (Taiwan, at least) were realizing that things didn't work out in reality the way they did in theory.

"Gryffindor is the best house!" Raj proclaimed while England and Yao looked horrified at the sounds. "We have so much fun in here, I bet Slytherin and Hufflepuff aren't a quarter as fun!"

England scowled. "Too much fun is what we're worried about."

Yao grabbed Raj by the ear and dragged him into the hallway while England shut the house door and knocked the Fat Lady out with a quick spell.

"Don't you dare put your name in the Goblet of Fire," Yao growled, twisting Raj's ear. "And make sure Harry and Ron don't try anything!"

"Ow! Let go of me, mum. Jeez, I thought it would be better in a different house."

England glared at Raj. "Yao's right. Things will be even more chaotic this year. You're in the same house as Harry, so you must be responsible, do you understand?"

Raj glared back, freeing himself from Yao. "I know! Now let me go back to my dorm."

Yao sighed. "Fine." He gently brushed some of Raj's attached strands of inky hair out of his face. "Be careful, 好吗?"

Raj nodded, his expression softening as he fondly touched Yao's hand before brushing it away. "Main main tumhen chhod aur kabhee nahin hoga vaada."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets with his back slouched, he turned and disappeared into the portrait hole after reviving the Fat Lady.

After he left, England grimaced. "I knew things would go much smoother with you around. But no surprise, considering the colonization."

"Just apologize to him."

England sighed. "My colonization of him modernized him."

"And it took away his pride. But let's not debate amongst ourselves about that for now. We have a 14-year-old boy to keep alive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Google translates things because I don't know a single word of Hindi*
> 
> *Cries*
> 
> Also, as of right now, this is my longest story! When I'm done with it, it'll become my longest finished story so far. And then maybe something else will take its spot. This is a constantly changing world, just likes the passing seasons, except I live in California and there aren't really seasons over here.


	15. WTF is going on!

《England》

The students were all buzzing with excitement as the walked into the Great Hall that evening. From his seat at the teacher's table, England could see Raj walking with Harry and his friends, made easily noticeable by the Weasley boy's red hair. England couldn't see Yao, though, probably because of the Chinese nation's height, made even shorter now that he was a teen.

England sighed ruefully, remembering who short he had been when he was a teen. He had also been a little bonkers.

Fred and George, the infamous Weasley twins, had both attempted to put their name in the Goblet, resulting in...

Well, the only thing to be said was that it didn't work.

"How are your classes going?" Professor McGonagall asked, knocking England out of his daydreams.

England smiled. "Oh, they're going wonderfully. My material seems to be well-received by most of the students, although I suppose anything would be good after Professor Binns."

The teachers (minus Snape and Moody, who were scowling) all chuckled.

"Who do you think is going to be our champion?" Madam Pomfrey asked, changing the subject.

Snape snorted. "The Potter boy has probably found some way to smuggle his stupid name in."

England sighed. "I hope not. And I hope none of my charges-" He glanced down at the Gryffindor table to Raj, who was animatedly pantomiming something to Potter and his friends. "-enter. Yes, definitely not."

Dumbledore smiled from behind his snowy white beard. "Well, now is the time to find out!"

Standing up, he clapped his hands for everyone's attention. It took longer than usual for the buzz to die down since today was the day the champions were chosen. As soon as it had, Dumbledore began to talk.

"It is now time to pick our three champions!" Dumbledore announced. "But I'm sure you already knew that. May the best be chosen!" He then gave the Goblet three taps with his wand.

Everyone was dead silent as they stared in anticipation at the Goblet.

It began to rumble, purple and golden flames spewing forth. There was a murmur of awe amongst the crowd. Then, a single slip of paper shot up, which Dumbledore grabbed and read.

"Viktor Krum, representing Durmstrangs!"

Many of the Durmstrangs students cheered for Krum, who England was pretty sure was a famous quidditch player, as he was escorted into a small room in the corner.

The Goblet sputtered again as a hush fell over the room.

"Fleur Delacour, representing Beauxbatons!"

There was a cheer for her to as she, beaming, made her way to the small room escorted by none other than the frog.

England's lip curled at the sight of that stupid, pompous, handsome-

Wait.

Luckily, before he could pursue that train of thought, the Goblet brought out another name.

"Cedric Diggory, a Hufflepuff, representing Hogwarts!"

There was a scream of delight from the Hufflepuff table as Diggory was escorted to the small room by Madam Pomfrey, while the other houses looked disappointed. England smiled. The house rivalry at Hogwarts got serious a lot of times, especially between Gryffindor and Slytherin, though the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs mostly stayed out of it.

"Well," Dumbledore said cheerily, "Those are our three cha-"

The Goblet spluttered again. England felt his heart freeze.

Tentatively, Dumbledore reached out with a shaking hand to grab the new name as the entire hall fell dead silent. The instant Dumbledore saw the name, England could see all the color drain from his face.

"Harry... Potter."

The hall exploded into chaos. The students from the two other schools were screaming that Hogwarts cheated, the Slytherins were screaming about how stupid Potter was, the Ravenclaws were hypothesizing amongst themselves about how this could have happened, the Hufflepuffs were fuming, and the Gryffindors were yelling in delight.

England saw McGonagall glance at Dumbledore, who was trying to calm everyone, before hurrying over to Harry to escort him into the small room.

Boom

Suddenly, there was a loud explosion that silenced everyone out of fear. Jumping, England was about to raise his wand before realizing it was just Moody.

"Everyone shut up!" Moody yelled, both eyes twitching. "Potter's name was probably put in here by someone who wishes him ill. He could die, idiots! Stop whining. So what if Hogwarts has two competitors. Potter's a runty fourth year. Durmstrangs has a famous quidditch player and Beauxbatons has someone who could win one of those muggle beauty competitions. You'll be fine, nitwits."

Dumbledore nodded gratefully. "Yes, indeed. This is just a slight mishap-"

The Goblet sputtered yet again.

England clenched the sides of his seat as he felt the color drain from his face. Dumbledore turned even paler. Reaching forth to grab the name, he read the name of the slip, looked at England, and read the name again.

Dammit, Raj. What in the name of all the founders had he-

"Yao Wang."

The hall exploded into chaos once more, with Yao nearly fainting dead away. England himself felt faint as he gripped the edges of his seat. If it had been Raj he wouldn't have been surprised… but Yao? Something was wrong.

Another loud bang from Moody startled England out of his thoughts and quieted the hall up.

"Do I need to give all you morons the same lecture again?" Moody roared. "Who cares about a runty fourth year? Are you saying your competitors can't beat fourth years?"

The hall was silent. Finally, Snape spoke.

"Perhaps the Wang boy was placed in to compete with, not against Harry. The Wang boy is... an excellent student."

Had this been any other situation, England would have found it very amusing Snape actually complimented on of his students.

Professor Flitwick nodded. "Oh, yes. That's very reasonable, having them as a team. This way, Potter won't die immediately, he can first stir up trouble here at Hogwarts."

Dumbledore sighed wearily. "Yes, that is a good hypothesis. For now... there is little we can do. Potter and Wang are bound to compete, and since they are both still young, they will compete as a team."

"But then they'll have eight years total!" Some Durmstrang idiot protested.

"You ninny!" Moody growled, sounding very much like an enraged bear as his fake eyes spun around wildly. "That's not how it works!"

The student shut up immediately.

Glancing at Dumbledore, who nodded, England got up to escort Yao over the room. Grabbing the deathly pale Chinese from his table, England began to pull him along while talking. He did so in (albeit badly accented) Cantonese to assure more privacy.

"Yao-"

"I had nothing to do with this," Yao said calmly, a little color having returned to his face. As England opened his mouth to grill Yao further, the Chinese teen cut him off. "Tell me, England, after knowing me for centuries, do you honestly think I would have something to do with this?"

England shook his head mutely.

"Good. Now go get everything sorted out with Raj. I'll be fine in the room on my own."

England nodded, patting Yao on the shoulder. A sudden terrifying thought occurred to him.

"Yao... you could die. Permanently."

Yao smiled sadly. "What else would I do? Run?"

"Yes."

"Then Potter could die. And he's too young for that. I'm not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Cue dramatic gasps*
> 
> I feel bad for destroying the number of four competitors though. See, in Mandarin, "four" is a homophone of the word "death," their tones are just different (Mandarin is a tonal language). That fits perfectly, because, well, R.I.P Cedric. (Spoiler alert, but I guess it's too late for that).

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I couldn't sleep because I was scared because I watched this creepy movie trailer ad with a villain called Kevin.
> 
> The highway to hell is paved with Kevins.


End file.
